"TWELVE!"
1996
An
ordinary man receives a nuisance
phonecall that just says the word
'twelve.' A couple of weeks later
another that says 'eleven.' Then 'ten.'
What's going on? Is someone counting
down to the end of his life?
This is the story of his adventures as
he tries to avoid everything. Miniature
clones of the Pope, Franz Kafka fans,
Medusas and cross country rally dancing
come into it too. And who are Mr and Mrs
Clemons?
I did "Twelve!" in
1996 and it was a great way to get back on
the scene. A lot of the credit for the
show's success has to go to its director,
Hamish McColl of the Right Size Theatre
Company. We'd bumped into each other at
commercials castings and I'd been a fan of
his since seeing 'Stop Calling Me Vernon'
about six times in 1994. He and Sean Foley
had come to see 'Pony' and was just lovely
about it. Hamish taught me tons and was
especially helpful in tightening the end
of the script which really made a
difference.
I plotted the idea for
the show while travelling around British
Columbia and the west coast of the States
the previous summer and the writing
process came pretty easily. The structure
of the twelve phonecalls was originally
going to work through a calendar year so
that the calls came on the the first of
each month, but that prevented the changes
of pace that are so useful in solo shows.
And plus, there was no suspense. The
Miniature Pope Cloning Project was a good
running gag and I managed to avoid fatwas
for the reference to Mecca-Godzilla. The
village of Red Apples was the setting of a
novel I wanted to write the previous year
but didn't. The Fiesta de Las Mesas
appeared in Elastic Planet on Radio 4 as
did a few ideas from the first two shows.
I was very happy with "Twelve!" The Pleasance booked me into a lunchtime slot (12.30pm), the hope being not not to lose money and I think we made a bit back. Everyone got a little 'I am 12' badge which became a talking point at the Fringe - rather than just plugging the show it made people chat about it and I think that was more effective. The reviews were very positive and the whole Edinburgh experience was fun. I was also in 'Oblomov' and 'The War of the Worlds Story' which were both great shows. I did a month-long run of "Twelve!" at the Hen and Chickens Theatre in London in the June of 1997 and that went well too.
The music
was by Simon Oakes and this was the first show
he scored for me. The theme was beautifully
effective and hummable enough to stick in the
mind as audiences left. Hamish McColl directed
brilliantly, Ted Smith produced with patience
and humour. Art design for the props etc was
by Andy Riley (he painted Mr & Mrs Clemons
and made the menu for Venn's). Lighting Design
and technical operation was by Malcolm
Rippeth. I had a great team. I always do.
"RIGHT
NOW I AM AT THE BEGINNING OF MY ROPE"
Read a script extract from "Twelve!"
PURCHASE
KINDLE EDITION
